Parenting Solo...

The dreaded moment has arrived...  Philipp is off on a work trip (to Germany) and I am home with the kids.  The Terrific Trio will survive!!!

Philipp left the house this morning at 5 am, and he will be back Sunday afternoon.  That's 5 nights of me handling everything for Basti and Maja.  Oh boy.  And I used to think taking care of just Maja Puppy was hard.  HAHAHAHA.

Little elf.

Alright, so today we kept quite busy.  And Basti was right on "schedule" with naps and feeding.  What a good boy.  At 10 am we went to check out a home day care on the same street Philipp's bro lives (5 minutes from where we live now), it was referred to us by 2 people.  Basically, it's a lady who watches up to 8 toddlers in her house.  It was a bit chaotic when I walked in...  kid stuff everywhere.  And then all the kids had runny noses, some looked disheveled and dirty.  Ay.  Yes, it's affordable...  but I think I will pass.  Maybe for when Basti is a toddler so he can learn to play with other kids.  The highlight of the visit though was that just that morning they had found a lost doggie with no tags or microchip.  Awww...  Lady said she needed to find a foster home for the doggie right away or she would send her to a shelter.  And because I'm just nuts...  I said I'd foster her if she couldn't find the owners or a good place to take her.  Agh.  Maja would love a playmate, oh yes she would!  I talked it over with P once he landed in DC, he said sure (no surprise there)!  I thought I'd sleep on it (as in afternoon nap) and call the lady back in the afternoon.  Ok ok...  by the time I called her she had already sent the doggie to a rescue place that she thought would be nice.  So, as crazy as it would have been I was a little disappointed I wasn't bringing home a surprise for Maja.  See what happens when I'm left to make decisions on my own?!?

Anyway, back to our day.  After checking out the daycare, we went downtown.  First dropped off a package at the post office.  And then took a 30 minute walk around the park and neighborhood downtown with Basti and Maja.  We were 30 minutes early to our lunch date...  so Basti and I settled in, I changed his diaper (I've gotten pretty good at using any piece of furniture in a restroom to change Basti's diaper), got a big glass of OJ (to ward off any germs I might have picked up at the day care, although I was very careful not to touch anybody or anything while I was there), and managed to nurse Basti in public by myself for the first time.  YEY!!!  Lunch was with the KG Wives Lunch Club / Basti Ladies Fan Club (I made it up...  this is my way of getting to go out to lunch and having someone else hold Basti so I can eat with both hands and have a conversation).  As usual, Basti worked his charm and had the ladies fighting over who got to hold him next.  Ok, not fighting but repeatedly politely asking to hold Basti.  And also getting comments on his hair from strangers.

Will my hand fit in my mouth?

We spent the afternoon at home.  Reading books, singing silly songs, napping, nursing.  Also had Basti hang in the front carrier while I played catch with Maja in the yard.  Said hello to grandparents over Skype.

Passed out on his own after tossing toys around him (note the foot in the nightlight).

While Basti took his evening nap, I had dinner and played with Maja.  I managed to give Basti a bath in his tub on my own.  And now both baby and puppy are in bed, before 8:30 pm!  WOW!

We can do it!

5 Things I Didn't Know About Babies

Ok, so there are LOTS of things I didn't and don't know about babies...  but these are a few that caught me off-guard.  And Basti showed me the way...  hee hee.

1.  How incredibly exhausting it is to care for Basti.  Really, nothing could have prepared me for this.  Sometimes I am so brain dead I can barely string a coherent sentence together.  So it's good to have simple repetitive songs to entertain Basti that don't require thinking...  like the dreaded "This is the song that doesn't end."  Today I sang "The Twelve Days of Christmas" all the way to the store.  I know it drove my parents nuts when we (Hen and I) sang these songs in the car over and over and over again.  This might come back to bite me.
2.  Basti passes gas a lot.  Ha ha.  And boy are the farts stinky...  clear the room stinky.
3.  Spit up can be crazy massive.  Even more shocking when the back flow comes with such force that it pours out his nose.  Scary to see.
4.  Basti's hands are lint traps, especially between the thumb and index finger.  I like to check for surprises especially in the morning.  Sometimes he gets lint between his toes when he wears footie PJs, those are harder to pick out but float out easily in the bathtub.
5.  Nursing takes sooo much time.  I guess I had not thought about it before.  It is also somewhat unpredictable.  Sometimes Basti just takes a sip and passes out.  Other times he nurses for 30+ minutes non-stop.  And then there are times he takes a big gulp and then wails.  I get a little anxious when I know I need to nurse in public because I don't know how Basti will react.  So far we have managed ok.

Photos of Basti:

Basti likes to play with his hair when he is laying down.

Cute As a Stufi!

Basti accompanied me to the polls to vote!

Happy after a nap on Mommy's lap.

Mommy not feeling well today...

First time I get sick since Basti arrived.  Not sure what it was.  I'm thinking the milk was bad because the massive tummy ache started soon after I had my morning cheese sandwich and glass of milk.  I threw up, felt a little clammy and weak, and had sharp stomach pains that came and went getting worse when I stood up.  Agh.  I had to ask Philipp to come home early from work, it was hard for me to hold Basti for long.  I managed to get two naps in while Basti napped.  And Basti was quite sleepy today which was helpful.  I felt better after taking Pepto Philipp brought me and taking a nap with a hot water bag on my belly.  I managed to make chicken soup for dinner.  Tummy still feeling off, but I have more energy  now after eating more.  I hope this goes away quick.

Happy Halloween

Can you guess what I am?

Basti says...

3 months already???

3 Months!

Our little Basti Baby is 3 months old (13 weeks)!  And wowsa is he a big boy.  

On Monday October 15 (2 weeks ago) Basti had a check-up with the doctor.  Basti's stats:

- Weight: 13 lb. 10.5 oz.

- Length: 23 in.

- Head circumference: 41 cm.

Basti got a round of shots during this visit.  Which was painful for Basti and for me as I had to hold him down...  but the crying didn't last very long, and Basti got 3 giant band-aids as souvenirs.

Basti's cradle cap has increased a bit.  Doc said it was ok to use big people shampoo once a week to help get the oiliness off.  Tia Huebo has dubbed this condition "cheese head", HA HA.  This hasn't stopped Basti's hair from growing, it's standing up at 2 inches!

We have finally figured out how to put Basti in his crib for nap times, which gives me a  much needed break since he's getting heavy and tough to carry around all day.  Although his naps usually don't last more than an hour.  Most times he has to be rocked to drowsy mostly asleep.  A few times he has "squeaked" himself to sleep all on his own.  But always needs to be swaddled, unless he falls asleep in someone's arms.

Last week Wednesday-Thursday and Thursday-Friday nights, Basti went through a feeding binge, waking up every 2 hours...  I was exhausted in the mornings, felt like we were going back to earlier months schedule.  True to the warning we were given: Just when we think we have the hang of it, everything will change.  Hah!

We measured Basti yesterday...  and he's over 24 inches long!  WHA?!?  Also our inaccurate scale weighed him at over 14 pounds.

In the last couple of days Basti has figured out how to lift his head during tummy time and he doesn't complain about his exercises, a big accomplishment.  He has also taken to sucking on his hands, a lot.  And he can reach and hold his feet briefly.  And he chuckles when I pull the onsie over his head in the mornings.

Maja got a little cuddle session with Basti today, so cute.  She gave him lots of kisses on his feet.  Turns out Maja is getting a little more protective of her little brother...  she growled at Poppy when he walked into the bedroom while Basti was sleeping.  Once she realized who it was, she chillaxed and started wagging her tail.

Mommy update:
Other than being so tired all the time and suffering from Mom-nesia...
I'm down to 123#.  Woohoo!  Thanks to my personal fitness trainer, non other than Basti...  who keeps me on my feet walking him around the house all day.  Which is good cause I am hungry ALL THE TIME.  Sometimes I eat a full meal, and I am still hungry.  Thanks also to breastfeeding and Basti the liposuction milk drinking machine.
My neck, upper and lower back are tense and sore.  Tendency to hunch over Basti when holding him.  Also having my head tilted to the side when I hold him vertically to make space for his noggin over my shoulder.  And carrying him around the house...  especially when nursing, doesn't help the back pain.  Finally managed to get over my anxiety of being away from him and got myself to the masseuse on Friday morning.  Awesome.  I should attempt this more often.

Tia Hen is is town this week!  Great to have another pair of arms to hold Basti and carry him around the house.

Whatever Works

As new parents, we have gotten tons of advice from all directions.  Sometimes it is super useful advice that make a world of difference.  Other times it is well meaning advice that doesn't work (or makes no sense) and just adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed.  But I think the best overall advice we've gotten is: Whatever works!  (Thanks to PI!).

Fortunately, I had some baby training with my nephew.  I was at my sister's place for the first week of Oli's life and I made frequent visits in his early life.  So I was sorta kinda prepared for what was coming, with respect to what to have at home, hospital, etc.  Also, I had a few tricks up my sleeve on getting a baby to calm down. For example, sometimes when baby is fussy, singing helps...  my theory on this is that baby can sense if the person holding them is tense, and singing is relaxing, which causes both to calm down.

Me holding 1-month old Oli while catching up with shows on Hulu.

My goal for welcoming Basti into our home was to keep a calm environment (que no cunda el panico!), and keep in mind that babies are sturdier than they seem... after all, babies do survive in places with much much less than all the crazy baby stuff we are so fortunate to have.  In the first weeks after Basti was born, several people commented on how Philipp and I seemed so easy going given it was our first baby (because in their experience most first time parents are paranoid and stressed out).  Goal achieved!

A buddy of ours in China had a baby boy a month and a half after Basti was born.  He has his parents, in-laws, and an aunt and uncle all helping care for their baby...  so he told us he admires us for taking care of Basti on our own.  And somehow we make it work.

All babies are different.  And so are their parents.  And the relationship and chemistry between baby and each parent (or any person actually) is different.  On top of that, everybody is different physically which means one baby holding position might be comfy for one person but not for another.  So overall what works for one person, might not work for another.  Which leaves everybody guessing at what baby wants.  Hmmm.

When Basti cries...  I check the time, since he is usually on a 2 hour cycle (feeds/sleeps 2 hours after last feeding/nap).  So depending on what part of the cycle he is on, I feed him or swaddle him.  Unless he is just unhappy because he wants to change positions.  My go-to position to calm him down is holding him vertically on my left arm with his head over my shoulder, pat his back with my right hand and walk around so he bounces a bit.  If he does fall asleep on my arm, I try putting him the crib...  but if he starts to squirm when I put him in the crib, I implement the chest pat/rub and see if it gets him to pass out.  If not, then pick him up and try again.

Philipp's go-to position is to hold Basti horizontal on his arm, with Basti's head cradled in his elbow and patting his butt with his hand, which causes Basti's head to wobble a bit.  Most days Philipp will swaddle Basti for bedtime and make sure he is sound asleep in his crib.  I have to admit sometimes I question his techniques...  but I keep in mind that we are all different and I respect his opinion, so I keep my mouth shut.  Although the look on my face might give me away...

Sometimes when I am I just so exhausted during the day, and Basti is willing, we do side-laying nursing in bed.  If the stars are aligned, Basti will pass out right there and I can cat nap next to him.  In the last week I have figured out that Basti will nurse longer if I stand up and walk around the house.  This can be tiring since he is getting heavier quickly...  but I guess it is part of my workout.  Ha ha.  Hey, whatever works.

A couple of weeks ago Philipp went on his first work trip.  Whhhaaa...  I missed him most at night for the bedtime routine and in the mornings when he usually brings me breakfast while Basti is nursing.  Thank goodness Tia Huebo was able to come stay with us for the week Phlipp was gone.  Most days we went out on adventures visiting bakeries all over Sonoma, and Tia Huebo cooked Panamanian comfort food for me.

Welcome home Poppy!

Here is me at lunch in a cafe, nursing Basti (he latched on for an hour!), Maja tied to my foot (not shown), my right eye swelling up from some random allergic reaction, and then trying to eat my duck sandwich with one hand.  Hey, whatever works!

This past weekend we made a brief stop at the pumpkin patch down the road to get some photos.  Basti wore his bear outfit.

On Baby Motherhood

I used to be one of those naive people who thought: How hard can it be?  Just strap the baby to my back and get on with life.  Oh WOW was I wrong...  now I know better and I get it.  Kuddos to ALL Moms out there.  I have learned that you can't really understand what it takes having a baby in your life until you become a Mom...  (and I have noticed that some Parentals have forgotten what it's like if it has been a while).

Taking care of a newborn is physically and mentally exhausting.  Keeping up with the needs of a wee baby is very time consuming.  Adding sleep deprivation which is very stressful.  All this makes guessing at what baby needs 24/7 that much more difficult...  and keeping a cool head through it all is very challenging.  And with my brain turned to mush, I worry I will do something wrong because I wasn't thinking straight.  So it takes all my focus to make sure I handle Basti with much care.  Several times I have woken up in the middle of the night when I hear Basti stirring in his sleep and I have a moment of panic because I can't remember putting him back in his crib after the last feeding and I don't know where he is...

And then there's the overwhelming amount of information on baby care.  So many different views on what to do and what not to do.  Sometimes the info is conflicting, which makes it even more frustrating.  And expectations on developmental milestones and comparisons to other babies.  Plus advice coming at you from every direction...  it's funny how sometimes it seems everybody else knows what is best for your baby except yourself.  So what to do???  Philipp and I are functioning under the motto "whatever works."  Otherwise we'll just go crazy.

A baby requires huge change in life and expectations.  Actually, I have found having NO expectations of Basti works a lot better.  To keep my sanity (or what's left of it), I need to just roll with it...  because he is changing and growing so quickly.  Some days he wants to nurse more frequently for shorter periods, other days nurse less often for longer, or sleep long periods, or take cat naps, or any combination of the previous.  Some days he poops a lot, some days he doesn't poop at all.  Some days he will be content in his stroller through a lunch outing, other days he wants out.  Some days he is happy laying in his crib watching his mobile, some days he is ok with tummy time, some days he wants to talk and interact.  Some days Basti is ready for bed by 7pm, some days he will be up and fussy till 10pm.  So for us it is best not to have a schedule.

I wish I wasn't so exhausted all the time so I could more fully enjoy every moment with Sebastian (even when he is crying louder than I thought possible).  I know he will be this little for a very short period and before I know it he won't want to be cuddled and held as much.  So I have decided that it is OK if he wants to be held all the time.  He cannot be spoiled at this age...  he just lets me know what he needs.  And if what he needs is to feel comforted by sleeping in my arms or chest for hours at a time, I will hold him (unless I'm about to pee my pants).  If what he needs is to be held upright and carried around the house so he can check out his surroundings, I will hold him.

If Basti wants to nap on the floor...  I will nap with him.

And if Basti wants to cry...  I will cry with him.  Ok, not really.  If Basti cries, I do everything to comfort him.

Of course, it is more comfortable just staying home with easy access to crib, changing table, toys, burp cloths, clean up stuff for blow outs (spit up or poop).  But we try to get out of the house, which requires some coordination...  Need Basti to nap long enough for me to take a shower, then need Basti to nurse well so he will be content going into the car seat, and need to make sure Basti is dressed properly for outside temps (he tends to get very warm in the car seat).  Then need to make sure I'm dressed properly.  If Maja is home with us, chase her down to get her harness on and get her in the car first. Then get Basti in the car.  Oh yeah, make sure the diaper bag is properly stocked and in the car too.  And check if the stroller is in the car trunk.