On Baby Motherhood

I used to be one of those naive people who thought: How hard can it be?  Just strap the baby to my back and get on with life.  Oh WOW was I wrong...  now I know better and I get it.  Kuddos to ALL Moms out there.  I have learned that you can't really understand what it takes having a baby in your life until you become a Mom...  (and I have noticed that some Parentals have forgotten what it's like if it has been a while).

Taking care of a newborn is physically and mentally exhausting.  Keeping up with the needs of a wee baby is very time consuming.  Adding sleep deprivation which is very stressful.  All this makes guessing at what baby needs 24/7 that much more difficult...  and keeping a cool head through it all is very challenging.  And with my brain turned to mush, I worry I will do something wrong because I wasn't thinking straight.  So it takes all my focus to make sure I handle Basti with much care.  Several times I have woken up in the middle of the night when I hear Basti stirring in his sleep and I have a moment of panic because I can't remember putting him back in his crib after the last feeding and I don't know where he is...

And then there's the overwhelming amount of information on baby care.  So many different views on what to do and what not to do.  Sometimes the info is conflicting, which makes it even more frustrating.  And expectations on developmental milestones and comparisons to other babies.  Plus advice coming at you from every direction...  it's funny how sometimes it seems everybody else knows what is best for your baby except yourself.  So what to do???  Philipp and I are functioning under the motto "whatever works."  Otherwise we'll just go crazy.

A baby requires huge change in life and expectations.  Actually, I have found having NO expectations of Basti works a lot better.  To keep my sanity (or what's left of it), I need to just roll with it...  because he is changing and growing so quickly.  Some days he wants to nurse more frequently for shorter periods, other days nurse less often for longer, or sleep long periods, or take cat naps, or any combination of the previous.  Some days he poops a lot, some days he doesn't poop at all.  Some days he will be content in his stroller through a lunch outing, other days he wants out.  Some days he is happy laying in his crib watching his mobile, some days he is ok with tummy time, some days he wants to talk and interact.  Some days Basti is ready for bed by 7pm, some days he will be up and fussy till 10pm.  So for us it is best not to have a schedule.

I wish I wasn't so exhausted all the time so I could more fully enjoy every moment with Sebastian (even when he is crying louder than I thought possible).  I know he will be this little for a very short period and before I know it he won't want to be cuddled and held as much.  So I have decided that it is OK if he wants to be held all the time.  He cannot be spoiled at this age...  he just lets me know what he needs.  And if what he needs is to feel comforted by sleeping in my arms or chest for hours at a time, I will hold him (unless I'm about to pee my pants).  If what he needs is to be held upright and carried around the house so he can check out his surroundings, I will hold him.

If Basti wants to nap on the floor...  I will nap with him.

And if Basti wants to cry...  I will cry with him.  Ok, not really.  If Basti cries, I do everything to comfort him.

Of course, it is more comfortable just staying home with easy access to crib, changing table, toys, burp cloths, clean up stuff for blow outs (spit up or poop).  But we try to get out of the house, which requires some coordination...  Need Basti to nap long enough for me to take a shower, then need Basti to nurse well so he will be content going into the car seat, and need to make sure Basti is dressed properly for outside temps (he tends to get very warm in the car seat).  Then need to make sure I'm dressed properly.  If Maja is home with us, chase her down to get her harness on and get her in the car first. Then get Basti in the car.  Oh yeah, make sure the diaper bag is properly stocked and in the car too.  And check if the stroller is in the car trunk.