I can't believe it has already been a week since the birth of little Sebastian. So I'd better sit down and write this up before I forget everything. I warn you, I hold nothing back, so read at your own risk.
Needless to say, it took us by surprise, since today is the due date. And at the last OB check-up on Thursday July 26, Dr. RW had asked how I felt about scheduling a C-sec since there seemed to be zero activity in the cervix, which could be due to a very narrow pelvis. We spent the weekend debating if we should schedule for August 8 (lucky Chinese day). Still I was hoping baby would make his appearance sooner. Fortunately, we also tackled many of the chores on the to do list: cleaning out the pantry, all sorts of laundry, sorting out baby gifts and clothes, getting guest room ready (for parentals), getting trash and recycling out, carpets got steam cleaned earlier in the week, finish packing hospital bags.
Saturday middle of the night (or in the wee hours of Sunday) I started getting some contractions, or what I thought might be contractions. Could they be? I was told contractions feel like menstrual cramps, and that I would know when they were contractions. They were very mild and very spaced out, so I wasn't sure. Indigestion? Braxton hicks (faux-contractions)? Sunday evening they came back again. Ok, they are some sort of contractions.
Monday July 30
12:50 - I wake up and have the feeling something is about to gush out of me, so I jump out of bed and bolt for the toilet. I make it on time, phew. I look at the clock and make a mental note of the time. (Yes, I told everybody it happened at 1am instead of 12:50 because it seemed so much simpler and I don't think 10 minutes makes that big a difference). What was that? Could it have been my water breaking? But it was just one gush, not continuous trickle. Hmmm. I get back in bed. Contractions start. Ok, this time I'm sure they are contractions. I think I should start timing them, but my brain is so foggy I'm having a hard time keeping track of them. Should I wake up Philipp? No, better let him sleep. I walk around the house, Maja follows me. I let her out in case she needs to pee. We both sit on the couch. I pass the time and discomfort petting her.
02:30 ish - I get back in bed wondering what to do. Gush feeling happens again. Ok, that has to be my water breaking. Funny thing is just that day I told a fellow pregnant friend that for most women their water doesn't break until after they are in the hospital having contractions. I reach over and check to see if Philipp wakes up, turns out he's been awake-ish the whole time. I tell him I'm having contractions and I think my water broke. He gets up and makes coffee. Gives me his iPhone with an app on timing contractions... but I keep forgetting to press the start/stop. Once I finally wrap my head around using the app, it seems contractions are between 3 and 5 minutes. In the meantime, Philipp is packing Maja's overnight bag and starts loading up the car just in case. I call the OB office to leave a message with the operator, and wait for call back from the doctor on-call. It's a no-brainer for her, it's time to go to check-in at the hospital. OH MY GOD. I realize I have NEVER been hospitalized, nor have I ever had stitches. Philipp calls his brother and lets him know what is going on and we will be dropping off Maja at his place on our way to the hospital. I get up and feel I need to take a shower and put fresh clothes on.
04:00 - We're on our way out the door. Somehow I'm clear minded enough to ask for one last picture with my giant belly.
Wow belly.
04:15 - Maja gets dropped off. We hold her and give her kisses and tell her we will be back soon with her little brother. Contractions are starting to get a little more uncomfortable.
05:00 - We arrive at the hospital and go through the check-in process at the emergency entrance. I get my hospital bracelet and all the paperwork. We make it up to labor and delivery, where we are shown to a labor room. Room is quite compact, it has a hospital bed, contraction and baby heartbeat monitor, chair, sink, WC in the back. I am told to take off all my clothes, put on a hospital gown, and lay on the bed. But the hospital gown is un-buttoned, Philipp and I can't make heads or tails of it and I start laughing. We call for the nurse to help out, haha. She's surprised I'm laughing... I tend to laugh in difficult situations. I also get a belly band to hold the contraction and baby heart rate monitors to my belly. It feels awkward to be laying on this bed with an absorbent mat as I am leaking all over. But I guess that's just part of it. The doctor on-call comes in and does an inspection to confirm that yes my water broke. Also, I am 40% effaced (thinning of the cervix), 1 finger tip dilated (opening of the cervix). So now I get to wait it out and see what happens... contractions coming in faster and stronger. Still manageable.
08:00 ish - Dr. RW makes her appearance. With the new developments, no more talk of C-sec. I ask her what I should expect to happen during the day (nothing worse than laying around in pain not knowing what is going to happen). She says she expects contractions to keep going and for baby to make his appearance at some point in the evening/night. She talks about pain meds: fentanyl (given through IV to take the edge off [whatever that means], but can only take 3 doses and each lasts about 45 minutes, so make sure it counts) or epidural. I want to hold off on picking the epidural for as long as I can since you are stuck in bed and have to get a catheter to pee. But I would like to keep the option of the fentanyl open.
08:30 - Breakfast rolls in, I realize I am hungry. I eat the oatmeal, but the eggs are quite un-appetizing looking. We also brought a bag of snacks along so I munch on some of those (chocolate covered cookies and nut bars).
Since it seems we will be here for the long haul, I tell Philipp to take a nap as he is starting to look spaced out. There is a fold out mat that barely fits in the room and the nurse provides sheets and a pillow. He sets me up with his iPad re-starting Scrubs from season 1 (we watched the whole 9 seasons in 2010 over many transoceanic flights). I am given the menu for the next two days and asked to make my picks. Wha? I'm dazed and in pain and I am to pick what I want to eat for the next two days?!?
Nurse K comes in and asks me what my pain is like on a scale from 1 to 10. I don't know what to answer, so I ask what a 10 is, she says that's like getting my arm cut off. Um... not that I've ever had my arm cut off so I am not sure, but let's say I'm at 6. I am also asked where I feel most of the pain from the contractions, it is concentrated on the front of the abdomen but can also feel it in my lower back. I am advised to take a warm shower to help with the back pain or walk around the floor to get things moving. I am feeling quite uncomfortable and am having a hard time wanting to get out of bed. I get one badly painful contraction, and then a few milder ones. Repeat. But I manage to haul myself out of bed, then realize I'm constantly leaking so how do I walk around like this since I am wearing only the hospital gown. Nurse K gives me funny looking disposable undies and a pad. I do about 5 slow laps around the labor and recovery sections. There are lots of framed photographs of babies all around and posters on breastfeeding. Several times I have to stop and lean on the wall to bear with the pain of another contraction coming on. When I get back to the room I go poop, which is a relief as one of my biggest fears is pooping during delivery in front of everybody (as I have heard it is a very common occurrence).
10:30 - Back in bed. Contractions are getting much more painful. Nurse K tells me to try to relax into the contraction and not scrunch up my face. I am sighing, humming, moaning through the contractions as needed. At some point I get so loud I wake up Philipp... he looks up and I tell him I'm sorry. ?!? Ha ha. I have been hiccuping and burping randomly through all this, and trying to say "excuse me" after each burp.
11:00 ish - OK, this is getting BAD. I have often thought I have a pretty high pain tolerance. Even as a little girl, the dentist/orthodontist were always impressed I wouldn't squirm or complain regardless of what they were doing. But this is incomparable. I'm starting to see stars. I tightly grip the handles of the bed and slowly let out a "F*#%" to get through the contractions. I remember thinking: can we do a C-section instead??? Philipp asks what he can do for me, foot massage please! I ask for the birthing ball (big yoga ball) to sit on and see if it makes a difference. Once I'm on the ball I remember putting my arm around Philipp's neck and saying "Oooh Phili" as I go through a contraction. Then I lean back on Philipp and try to relax into the contractions while sitting, but it is still terrible and I am gushing and its all just so crazy.
12:00 ish - It's time for the first dose of fentanyl. The on-call doctor and resident come in and tell me I have to be sure to make it count, reminding me I only get 3 doses. Also, with the fentanyl they would have to do an inspection and since my water already broke every time they do an inspection there is a risk of introducing an infection. So they call Dr. RW to check with her, she OKs the fentanyl and inspection. While Nurse K preps the IV (that hurt!), on-call doctor and resident get the inspection done in between contractions (geez was that uncomfortable). So I ask, what's going on? Doctors try to dodge my question and say they need to get a second opinion from the nurse. HUH? Nurse K comes in and does another inspection. They all go out to call Dr. RW... the verdict is: I am 100% effaced and 9.5cm dilated. WHAT?!? Everybody is surprised I have gotten to that state so quickly. They tell me it's time to pack up and move to the delivery room. OMG, really???
We walk over to the delivery room, Philipp moving all of our stuff over. Nurse K walks me a bit around the room and tells me when I feel the need to push with a contraction I should push. Before she could finish saying push I felt the urgent need TO PUSH! I get hauled onto the bed, Philipp grabs my arm on the IV to help push me up, and I yelp. Nurse K asks if I can feel the fentanyl... um NO. Yeah, I'm too far along and likely it will not be felt. Clearly too late for epidural also. Nurse K has me lay on my left. She coaches me on how to hold my legs when I push and tells me to push like I need to poop. Eeeshk. Nurse K has me change positions several times, from laying on my sides to on my back.
13:00 - I remember watching the clock and noting it was 1pm... wondering if this kiddo would make it out before 2. At some point the resident comes in to join the party, she's decked out with a mask and face shield, and I wonder is it really that messy? Several times I hear them say Dr. RW is on her way, or should be on her way, will she make it on time? Clock is ticking. I ask Philipp if he has the camera ready (where are my priorities?). Nurse K keeps coaching me, tells me I'm doing really well and baby's head has a lot of hair. GASP. My arms are getting tired from holding my legs through contractions and pushing. Dr. RW arrives! She looks so calm and matter of fact. How is Philipp holding up, he was worried he would get wozzy at the sight of blood and all this. He is petting my forehead, pushing my hair back. I think if he keeps it up my hair will fall off, so I try to tell him to stop. According to him it came out like this: "Stop. Hair. Fall off." I am sort of screaming through the pushing, but they tell me not to because my push won't be as powerful. I try to hold it in, but the scream escapes me towards the end of the push. It's almost 2pm... And finally in a great attempt to get it over with I make the biggest push and WOOSH... Baby is out, the feeling is indescribable but I know I scream from the pain, it is 1:57pm. Oh, and there goes another contraction and WOOSH... Placenta is out, I scream again. Baby is checked out and quickly placed on my chest. I am in shock. And SO RELIEVED. A nurse comes over and makes baby cry to clear his lungs. I hold him on chest and I am awed at how tiny he is, how wrinkly his hands are, the little baby zits on his face, his squished ears, what a head of hair! Nurses strip down the top of my gown so I can have some skin on skin cuddle time with baby. Baby looks for food, so I offer him my left nipple and he latches on! It pinches a little, but he is sucking and I am pleasantly surprised.
Hi Baby!
I ask if Philipp can hold him, Nurse K says not quite yet. All the while Dr. RW and resident are stitching me up since I have a tear. I ask how bad it is, Dr. RW says "normal." How many stitches? One big stitch. Then Dr. RW is checking out the placenta and I ask her to see it so she holds it up for me. I tell Philipp to look away, but he says he is ok with it all.
Lunch gets rolled in, here is my chance to get hospital jello! Nurse K takes baby to the warming bassinet, where she weighs him, measures his length and head circumference, takes his footprints, gives him his first bath, and dresses him.
Hello World.
First bath by nurse K.
Clean and cozy baby.
Then baby is handed over to Philipp, proud Poppy. And does baby have a name yet? Nope, still trying to figure out which of the two options we have.
Proud Poppy.
After about 30 minutes of laying on the bed taking it all in, catching my breath and having my blood pressure measured several times, Nurse K helps me out of bed and on to the toilet and explains how to care for my tear and wash with a squirt bottle with warm water, and I need to try to pee... which I think I am doing but not controlling. I am given a gigantic absorbent pad to put into a pair of disposable undies. Am I going to remember all this? Once again it's time to move, so we roll everything to our recovery room, this time as a party of 3.
First nap in our hospital room.
First burp.
Peacefully snoozing baby.
